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Sunday, October 10, 2010

Exit to Eden (Anne Rampling,c1985)



Exit to Eden, Anne Rice writing as Anne Rampling, c1985

We are all outsiders; we are all making our own unusual way through a wilderness of normality that is just a myth.

You only hurt people when you tell them the truth about things they cannot respect or understand.

And it is something else too that even I can't grasp; some harrowing of the soul, some exploration, some refusal to live on the outside of a dark and heated inner world that exists behind the civilized face I see in the mirror.

So why the anxiety on the upsurge? The sudden feeling that something terribly important might somehow be out of reach?

Each of us has within him a dark chamber where the real desires flower; and the horror of it is that they never see the light of another's understanding, those strange blooms. It is as lonely as it is dark, that chamber of the heart.

In love there is understanding, there is respect for the innermost secrets. There is compassion for the very root of desire itself.

All life is variation upon certain themes.

But it was too crazy..., imagining she could love; she could feel, that I could affect something in her.

I have this theory actually, that after an absence you discover in that first glimpse what you really think and feel about another person. You know things you couldn't know before.

He had traveled so long and so far from that simple intimacy in life that he could scarcely recognize it when he saw it.

You recognized something in Elliott that meant everything that love can mean. And when you were swept up by that love,you went with it instinctively,exactly what you thought it should go. And to your astonishment, that love didn't die;it flowered. It positively expanded,until all its possibilities were beyond escape.

Now,that is bound to be an overwhelming thing.It is the basis upon which lives are subverted and hearts broken.And there are people who live out their whole lives without ever knowing it even once.But I cannot believe that you,who have devoted yourself to exploring love under all it's names, can't recognize normal love for what it is.
kaigachi is a conjugation of the Japanese term "kigaicha" or crazy. It roughly translates as "crazy about something."

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious." - C.Jung

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