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Friday, February 25, 2011

A chronicle of pain

"Hey, anybody in this world. Can you talk to me awhile. find a reason for it all. Coz I can't make it backwards to a place I've never been, to a home that never was, it's like I'm losing it again..... I wanted to let you know me, but I'm trapped inside the fear. And I never said a word that you always seem to hear. When I take so long to say these words, can you wait so long for me?" - Nothing is Real / The Goo Goo Dolls,Something for the rest of us, c2010

Sometimes how we feel inside can be so strong it is almost like physical pain. It incapacitates. It weakens. It make us feel so damningly helpless. Yet it can be redeeming if we find the strength to try to understand where it is coming from and how we can overcome it. But that almost always means that we 'd have to go through hell first....

Hell is every waking day that we feel frozen, unable to decide, overcome by the fear that what we want may not be the best thing, and thus we are torn between choosing what can make us happy and what ideally is right.

Hell is being emotionally overcome, even in public places. Tears come unbidden and you will pretend to close your eyes and sleep so that no one will notice.

Hell is to judge yourself as pathetic, because you seem to be on the verge of losing it and you cannot even cry for help.

I guess nothing is ever real unless we regard it to be, even pain. But rationalization can only do so much to keep us sane. There comes a time when the only way we can survive the tumult of our feelings is to deal with it head on; to ask ourselves the questions that need asking; to make a choice. And it does not end there. We'd also need to find the courage to take it at the source.

Action is key. It can lead to more pain, but if it can help us find answers to our questions, then it will be worth it.

Even in history, peace had always come with a terrible price. xD
kaigachi is a conjugation of the Japanese term "kigaicha" or crazy. It roughly translates as "crazy about something."

"One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious." - C.Jung

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